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Chapter: 1
“Does one spoiled apple really spoil the bunch?” An apple that is infested with mold will contaminate other fruits that it is stored with. As the mold seeks additional food sources and spreads; so it actually does take that one single apple to start a domino effect that ruins the bunch, but this doesn’t have to be true with people. Bible Scripture: Psalm 3:3-4 “But you, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the lifter of my head. With my voice I cry to the Lord and He hears and answers me out of His holy hill. Selah!” God is the only being that can keep you from depression. Holding your head high is what God does for us, so have confidence in Him. You have two options: Quit or keep going and the results of those will either be misery or joy. Will you be the bad apple that affects everyone around you with negativity and depression? Or, will you be the apple that does not let other affect the outcome of your life? Facing disappointments doesn’t mean you should give up. God has promised to lift your head and see you through. Being single can be fun at times and other times can be exceptionally difficult and lonesome. You may go through relationship after relationship and begin to feel drained, but do you just give up? Being married now reflecting on the times when I was single, had I given up and gotten depressed when my relationships did not work I wouldn’t be married. I decided to let God lift my head and make good on His promise to keep my joy flowing. I decided not to let one apple spoil the bunch, because unlike fruits, we can control the infestation of mold (negativity) in our life. There were times I thought to myself, “What in the world am I doing? I’m never going to find the one.” That attitude would not find love or allow love to find me. I had started to let that one bad apple spoil the bunch. Being in the word, God steps in at those times when you feel down and out; before you even think about depression God will hear your cries and be the lifter of your head. I listened to Him and didn’t give up. I decided to through that bad apple out of the bunch and save the rest from infestation and mold. You have the same power. Don’t allow one bad relationship or multiple bad relationship hinder you or bring you down. Keep your head up those times where you cannot ask God to lift it for you. Don’t allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch. Confession (read aloud): God, in Jesus name, I ask that you deliver me from depression and be the lifter of my head. Shield me, hear me and answer my cries. Give me the strength to throw that one bad apple out of the bunch so I can save the rest from infestation. I declare to keep going, living in joy and not allow disappointments to be my final results. Allow me to embrace being single and help prepare me for when I find my true mate or my true mate finds me or make me a better mate. I will not give up because I have you in my life, forever, amen! “To give up on the things you want most means eventually settling for things that least matter.” To read more click the link for your purchasing options: Themaritalblueprint.weebly.com/book-store.html
I recently received a message and I need your help. Escaping her abuser this lady has 3 children and needs help with household items and children clothing. *Due to the severity of abusive relationships I cannot disclose names or locations.* While not being able to take anything its time for her to start over, so here is how you can assist. Bill deposits are required so Click the link AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE to donate money:
Want to buy any household items, below are things needed: (Anything is appreciated) air mattress sheets glasses dishes toilet paper laundry detergent hygiene items clothes for children (Boys 4T and 5T Girl 24months) Thank you all in advance, I look forward to your help in helping others! I will keep you all posted on the final outcome. Hi guys. Just wanted to let you all know that I obtained my certification in marriage facilitation and wanted to extend the offer for anyone wanting/needing relationship mentoring to simply go to: http://themaritalblueprint.weebly.com/ for more information. I would love to have you all to take the couple's assessment and help build your relationships.
Love you all, Mrs. NaQuia Jones Two Alabama college students face sexual battery charges after an attack on a crowded Florida beach during spring break that was recorded on a cellphone. Troy University students Delonte' Martistee, 22, and Ryan Austin Calhoun, 23, were arrested Friday in connection with the attack in Panama City, Bay County Sheriff Frank McKeithen said. He said the attack took place sometime between March 10-12. McKeithen called the video the "most disgusting, sickening thing" he had ever seen. He said several men can be seen surrounding the semi-conscious victim on a beach chair in the video. As the woman tries to remove the hands of attackers from her bikini, 'she isn't going to know' can be heard in the video, McKeithen said. The woman did not report the attack, but investigators were able to identify her through the video. She said she might have been drugged and did not remember details of the incident well enough to report it, McKeithen said. "Within 10 feet of where this happened there were hundreds of people," McKeithen said. "Looking, seeing, hearing what is going on. Yet our culture, our young people have gotten to the point where this is acceptable somewhere. I will tell you it is not acceptable in Bay County." The video was discovered by police in Troy, Ala., while investigating an unrelated shooting, McKeithen said. More arrests are likely, he said. Troy University issued a statement saying the suspects were temporarily suspended and Maristee was dropped from the track team. Contributing: Associated Press
Courtesy of dosomething.org Sources
This has been on my heart to share; I cannot lie, I hesitated because it is personal, but I preach and teach sharing life experiences to help others so I have to be the prime example. This is just a couple reasons I help others and why I am dedicated to giving even when giving seems impossible. I pray that you reading my life experiences and struggles can encourage you to do something good for someone, not expecting anything in return, but out of good faith knowing you will never fully go without if you rely on God. Around the time of the #StopTheViolence event and the #BackToSchool event I hosted from my organization L.O.V.E. INC. my family were facing major struggles financially. My husband being in the military wasn't enough to pay the bills, at the time he had only a part time job due to them cutting his hours and I was not working. It seemed as though things started getting behind quickly, all it took was for one bad month to have the bills pile up. Though we were tight on money we still paid our tithes, I never forgot one of the times the check was enough to pay rent if we did NOT pay tithes, but we paid them anyway, we refused to stop tithing because we were in a storm. I’m not going to lie I was a bit frustrated after the first #StopTheViolence event because only 4 people showed and I had spent money on food and supplies to give back to the community. Trying to do something good didn’t feel so right at that moment. After that event I felt as though I wanted to cancel the 2nd #StopTheViolence event and the #BackToSchool event, but my husband encouraged me to push through. I prayed and I decided to still do what I was called to do by God and it eventually paid off. During this time, we actually went to a place that could offer bill assistance to see if they could help us pay a bill. Well, after waiting hours and hours the verdict came back and we were told, “WE WERE BEHIND AND THEY COULD NOT HELP US BECAUSE WE WOULD BE RIGHT BACK IN THAT POSITION THE NEXT MONTH. The lady said, PERSONALLY, I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU ALL PAY WHAT YOU PAY BY THE INCOME YOU HAVE COMING IN.” I giggled, and simply said, God, then we left. Walking out the building I burst out in tears, NOT BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT HELP US, but because this ministry told us that they could not help us because we would end up in the same position and this was a Christian ministry, I was shocked, were was the God in that? Because, my God can do ANYTHING at ANY TIME. After leaving and praying I decided I would still continue with the event, because NOTHING was going to stop me from helping others. I’m so glad I didn’t give up, the event was a success. We provided school supplies, food, etc. to kids of ALL races and ages. Smiling faces there were leaving and kids seemed just a little more confident after receiving new book bags and supplies. Homeless people came and ate and smiled, talking to one another, it was such a peaceful event, it made me heart smile. I then knew, my purpose really is to help others, because it gives me peace and joy. I am the happiest when I am helping others. Afterwards my husband’s military check came in the mail and was way over the amount we expected, he then started working a new job and we were able to get caught in within 3 weeks. Yes, 3 weeks, the blessings has not stopped since. There were times my husband and I fed the homeless and we barely had food. There were time we gave money and we barley had money or gas. We have held events to help others when we needed help ourselves, BUT WE NEVER STOPPED OR GAVE UP. I am sharing this NOT to brag but to show you what God intends for us. I talk a lot about sharing life stories in order to help and deliver someone else, so I hope this personal story can touch you in some way, to donate and help a family this holiday season. Even after a domestic violence relationship is over, the violence may still come; well it did in my instance. It was the last time violence came my way any boyyyyy did it come hard. It was a nice windy day in October the second week to be exact. After making an extremely hard decision, I would soon regret the moment I said yes. A few weeks earlier in September we had gotten together to buy our daughter a few items for her 2nd birthday, presented them to her and even took a trip to Chuck E Cheese, drama free. Of course, there was conversation, some of which were about us getting back together and questions if I were dating someone else. Being the honest person I was, I said yes and had no intentions on getting back together. He denied being in any kind of relationship and acted as though he was so torn from our breakup and getting back together was the only way to mend his heart, but I knew better than that. I was finally in a good space and happy. Happy with who I was dating and just happy that I was no longer in an abusive relationship. Nothing came of the conversation, so I felt as though we were making progress to co-parenting and things would be great for our daughter to still have both her mom and dad. After missing her birthday party and no communication for a couple weeks, I grew suspicious on his motives and how this co-parenting would turn out.
My phone rung the first week in October, a bunch of apologies and excuses on why he missed her 2nd birthday party and why I hadn’t heard from him. He offered to send some money for her to go to the state fair and I accepted, not knowing his motives were for him to come with us, as a family. After sending the money, then came the real reason for sending the money, he wanted to come. At first I didn’t think it was a great idea and I kept saying no, then I decided to say yes, thinking of my daughter and him wanting to spend time with her, I felt as though it were innocent. The second week in October I was getting dressed awaiting his arrival so we could take our daughter to the fair and put this behind us, my phone on the counter a knock at the door. I answered it and went back to my room to grab my things. In that little bit of time, I heard him on the phone talking volger to the person on the other end, then he put it on speaker and it was the guy I was dating. In that little amount of time he went through my phone and decided to start some drama, I was totally lost and confused; especially because just a few weeks ago we had a serious conversation and I was completely honest about dating someone else and all seemed well, but now he was acting as though he “caught” me cheating on him, it was totally random and weird. Hanging up the phone he immediately went into a rage, starting to destroy any and everything in site. My daughter standing there in the living room where we were witnessing this commotion, I tried to remain calm. Bashing the flat screen tv with a hammer to throwing my phone over the balcony across the street and grabbing my new laptop he started to hit it on his knee trying to break it in half. I begged him to stopped and calm down, but the more I did, the more anger came out. Our daughter screaming and crying nothing phased him, he didn't even seem to care. He finally grabbed me and drug me to my bathroom choking me, telling me how he would kill me right then and there. I keep asking what was the point of him coming if he wanted to act this way, with him already knowing the information he acted as though he had just discovered. Then I realized, the fair, him wanting to spend time with our daughter, it was all an excuse, a lie, to come to my house and do exactly what he had done; to try and destroy me. With all the screaming and yelling and hitting, I was tired, here I was over this relationship, moved on and yet dealing with domestic violence, I was simply over it and had been for awhile. After he released me I ran in the living room to check on my daughter and he came out still yelling and fussing, talking about how this whole time he had been involved with someone else and that he had gotten someone else pregnant. All I could do was say congratulations and tell him how I wished him the best. So upset by my reaction he kept screaming. I grabbed my daughter and my things told him to call me when he left my place and I would return once he was gone. I put my daughter in the car and drove off. Driving around for awhile trying to give him time to leave, I was no longer hurt mentally or emotionally, only physical this time. I was upset I fell for the trick and allowed him to come into my home and destroy the things I and only I worked so hard for. I was upset at myself for allowing my daughter to witness such hatred and abuse. After while I arrived back and home and he was still there. Calm wanting to apologize, he wanted to tell me that everything he said was a lie, that he was not involved with someone else and he had only said he had gotten someone else pregnant to make me mad, but I did not care what so ever. I gave the same response, that I wished him the best and I wanted nothing to do with him. He apologized as though he did nothing and left with no problem. He called about a week later wanting to tell me more dirt he had done while we were together years before and I stopped answering the phone. Leaving me various text and voice messages, cursing me out, telling me how he had slept with a family member to saying he loved me and he just wanted his family back, I deleted them as I received them with no return phone call or text. Eventually, he got the clue that I like I had said and proved it was over and no chance of getting back together, he hadn’t contacted me again until the following year. I blame no one but myself for allowing this abuse to go on even after the relationship, however I had to learn to stop blaming myself and forgive myself as well as forgiving him. Abuse happens when someone allows it to happen, but sometimes it can happen even if you don’t allow it to happen. Never down yourself for something you have been through in your past. Allow yourself to learn from your past experiences to make better decisions. In my situation, I was not ready to tell others about the things I had experienced. I did tell the person I was dating at the time and he helped me through the situation tremendously. Even though the relationship did not work out, it taught me that a healthy relationship was possible and that there were men to there who knew how to treat women. I’ve heard people say don’t tell the person you are involved with about those situations because then they know too much or that they may try and take advantage of the situation. I do NOT agree. If you are serious with someone they should know your history, if they truly love you they will never take advantage of such a tragedy but instead help you overcome. When I met my husband, we discussed it and he is an active member in my organization against domestic violence. It was imperative for him to know the things I went through, so that it would not affect our relationship. Change starts with us, telling someone your story may be the key to helping others overcome their difficulties. God turned my mess into a message and what is now my testimony. It may not have been good going through, but with forgiveness it feels GREAT to be able to help others and possibly save someone from even going through what I did. I pray my life experiences help someone in some way, whether it is to forgive, let go, get out or get some help, knowing someone out there somewhere will get something from this my domestic violence encounters are not in vain, and that is something I can smile about. I realize reading facts and statistics aren't the most popular and FUN thing to do, but I challenge you to read through this list of statistics. . .
This shows Domestic Violence has NOTHING to do with race, color, religion, social status, class status, age, gender (male/female), sexual preference. Domestic Violence impacts EVERYONE, whether you are a man or woman, gay or straight, rich or poor, white or black, adult or child, and because this is true means we have to work overtime to spread awareness so we can decrease these rates. It is our responsibility to research the issues of our generation going on in our world, in our country and do something to improve the wrong and the bad in the world. Simply educating people can potentially help a future victim. Knowing this topic is even an issue can raise suspicion and cause people to be more careful and develop limits when it comes to relationships. The statistics are REAL, and it hurts reading them seeing all the hurt and pain people are going through. A large amount of people suffer in silence, a lot of this domestic violence is not reported let alone dealt with. The issues linger on and causes all kinds of problems in each individual, then are passed down to our children and the cycle continues. We must speak up and speak out, no more hiding, no more feeling embarrassed, feeling scared, we must tackle this issue head on and help change these statistics. Numbers don't lie... Number of U.S. troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq: 6,614 Number of women, in the same period, killed as the result of domestic violence in the US: 11,766 Number of women in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 4 Number of men in the U.S. who report intimate partner violence: 1 in 7* Number of women who will experience partner violence worldwide: 1 in 3 Percentages of people killed in the U.S. by an intimate partner: 30 percent of women, 5.3 percent of men. Number of gay and bisexual men who experience domestic violence in the U.S.: 2 in 5 (similar to heterosexual women) Chance that a lesbian** in the U.S. will experience domestic (not necessarily intimate partner) violence: 50 percent Estimated number of children, worldwide, exposed to domestic violence everyday: 10,000,00 Worldwide, likelihood that a man who grew up in a household with domestic violence grows up to be an abuser: 3 to 4 times more likely than if he hadn't. Chance that a girl of high school age in the U.S. experiences violence in a dating relationship: 1 in 3 Percentage of teen rape and abuse victims who report their assailant as an intimate: 76 Percentage of abused women in the U.S. who report being strangled by a spouse in the past year: 33 to 47.3 (this abuse often leaves no physical signs) No. 1 and No. 2 causes of women's deaths during pregnancy in the U.S.: Domestic homicide and suicide, often tied to abuse Number of women killed by spouses who were shot by guns kept by men in the home in the United States: 2 in 3 Everyone reading this can fit into one of these categories. How do you feel about reading this blog post? What can you do to help fight against Domestic Violence? Comment below. As a survivor of Domestic Violence I must say that my child is also a survivor of it as well. NO, she was NEVER physically abused, and I haven't always felt as though she was; HOWEVER, her actions and words have showed me that she indeed was a victim as well. As a parent, as a woman, as a human being period NO ONE ever wants to or chooses to be in a situation as such, how I handled it may not have been the ideal way, but I am truly thankful I did wake up and realize the danger I was in. Let me share a story with you all in hopes to reach someone that may be in an abusive situation with children to GET OUT IMMEDIATELY but it has a huge impact on the children as well. As a young, immature mother (and I say immature because I couldn't have been mature if I allowed this behavior, especially around my child) I look back on those moments and I ask for forgiveness for myself because it is our responsibility as parents to keep our children safe not have them in the line of fire. Now, to my story, I'm going to give you 2 separate occasions: Randomly one day while sitting on the couch lounging around watching some television, my daughter sat on my lap and said, "Mommy, why did _______ break all your stuff? That was so mean. Mommy I love you." OK, what was she talking about right? I wish I did NOT know, BUT I DID. Crazy thing is my daughter is only 4, almost 5, but this happened when she was only 2, yes I said 2. The situation she was referring to was this: October 2011, Me and this person was not even in a relationship any more, we had ended things and nothing more was going on, he simply asked if he could take our daughter to the state fair, I was hesitant on a response as the end result was a simple yes. Before his arrival he asked if I were involved with anyone else, with no reason to lie I said yes. Nothing more was said on that. When he arrived things were a little different, he took my phone and sent a message to the person I was involved with called and that resulted in an argument between the 2. That sent him in a rage and he started to go crazy, breaking my phone, my computer, bashing the television in with a hammer, throwing things, breaking the entertainment center ALL IN FRONT OF OUR DAUGHTER. . . then he choked me dragging me in the bathroom telling me how he was going to kill me. I was very calm through the whole thing simply because my daughter was standing there crying and I knew that if I went into a rage and fought back things would be even worse, my silence and calmness was worth not having my daughter injured or seeing mommy act out. I did yell and we argued after I grabbed my daughter and left quickly leaving him in MY HOUSE. I drove away . . . This was suppose to be about my daughter, we didn't even make it to the fair. Now, knowing that's what my daughter was talking about when she said that to me hurts. People, just because your children are young doesn't mean they do not know what it going on, it doesn't mean they cannot remember. I was actually shocked because at 2 I thought there was NO CHANCE she would remember a thing, I was wrong. Another example of the impact abuse can have on children... My husband, daughter and I were at the beach on a family vacation. At the beginning of the trip we checked into the hotel room and began to unpack. My husband stepped on the balcony and when he came in he closed the balcony door. I heard the sound of wind coming in and said Babe, the door isn't shut. He said yes it is, its coming from over there, point at the main door to the room, I said no, then we started laughing and getting loud going back and forth to prove who was right, "Over there, no there, bet on it..." we went on and on getting loud...My daughter started crying and screaming, "stop stop yelling nooooo I don't like it" as she ran over and got in-between us. All we could do was sit down and apologize. My husband instantly hugged her and I explained how we were only playing. This wasn't the first time she has done that and it wasn't the last. Sad that loud noises can make her go into a panic. This was just another reminder that children don't forget things they have been through. At those moments I realize I wasn't the only one who went through a domestic violence situation. Just because she wasn't physically abused she suffers from witnessing abuse. I'm writing this blog to share my experiences with you all. To show you that your actions has an impact on everyone around you. Do NOT for one second thing you can alone handle such situations, because you are not the only one suffering the abuse, whether its mental, physical, emotional or verbal. I know people will deal with things that are not healthy but when it come to their children they will do something different, something better, so if you canNOT leave for you, think of your children. Think of how they are influenced and do what's best for them. One thing I must say, I am thankful, grateful I woke up and got out while my daughter was so young, I'm not happy with myself or the decisions I made at the time, but I am happy I didn't stay there. No matter how long it has been for you, if you can read this you can leave and still have a chance. Let no one have a lasting impression on your children that has them scared to hear male/female voices, panic when they feel something is happening, its not worth it. You were chosen to be a parent to you little one, so your job is to protect them at ALL times. Leave that abusive relationship and start a new life for you and your little ones. |
NaQuia Jones
Domestic Violence SURVIVORS and victims, here to share stories to the world in hopes to turn more victims into SURVIVORS while bringing awareness/light on this dark subject. *Bloggers Wanted* Archives
October 2015
CategoriesL.O.V.E. Inc. welcomes men and women survivors as well as victims to share any stories as well as express any thoughts or feelings. Please respect others opinions, everyone may not share the same religious beliefs/morals/ethics so please be respectful of EVERYONE.There is a zero tolerance for disrespect so we will give you a warning; if the problem persist pass the warning you will be banned from the site. This is a safe place to find support, comfort, advice as well as encouragement not to find even more abuse from our peers. We look forward to our open discussions and blog post from the public. Thank you for your support!
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