Emotional Abuse
Emotional Abuse- Using words to verbally harm/hurt an individual, this can include humiliating jokes to degrading comments.
Here at L.O.V.E. INC. we believe that having limits when it comes to relationships will prevent violent situations from happening, by putting a stop to it before it starts. So, here are some ways to recognize emotional abuse.
Notice common forms of emotional abuse:
· Humiliation- feeling like you are constantly being put down, judged or told you are being too sensitive
· Neglect- You get the “silent treatment” and denied affection or attention as a punishment
· Domination- You find yourself asking “permission” to engage in regular activities
· Denial/Unreasonable Demands- The other person cannot accept blame or apologize, and he/she consistently denies or embellishes facts.
· Co-dependence- Your personal boundaries are consistently violated and the other person relies on you as their sole emotional support.
Be Aware of Gas lighting
Gas Lighting- The slow process of being led question your own sanity or reality. It’s particularly subtle form of emotional abuse, but it can have extremely damaging consequences.
Signs of Gas lighting:
· You constantly second guess yourself
· You’re always apologizing, even for your insignificant or non-existent errors
· You know something is terribly wrong, but cannot put your finger on it
· You struggle making simple choices
· You find yourself wondering if you’re too sensitive
L.O.V.E. INC. wants to promote healthy relationships, we understand that it can be difficult to recognize abuse, especially if you have no idea what a positive relationship look like. So, if you feel as though you are missing out on majority of these things, though, you might consider the possibility that you’re being emotional abused.
· Good will and emotional support
· The right to your own feelings and opinions, even if they differ from the other person’s
· Encouragement of your interests and accomplishments
· A lack of physical or emotional threats, including angry outburst
· Respectful language that steers clear of name –calling or put downs.
Addressing Emotional Abuse:
1) Bring up the problem in a calm environment- Throwing down an accusation of emotional abuse in the midst of a heated argument, consider these less confrontational alternatives.
2) Ask the other person if you can have a calm discussion- Instead of bringing up the term “emotional abuse” , say that you think there are things that both of you can work on to make your relationship better. Use plenty of “I” language such as “I feel…” instead of “you”.
3) Write a letter- If you feel like a reasonable, relaxed talk is out of the question, put your concerns to paper. Write out a few drafts, and try to avoid directly accusatory statements that will ignite the other person’s anger. ie: instead of saying, “You make fun of me and I hate it,” try “I feel like I’m being mocked and humiliated.”
Ask for support- Having a trusted friend or family member weigh in on the situation can help you feel like you’re evaluating it objectively, as well as validating your feelings. If the emotionally abusive relationship breaks down completely, it’ll be nice to have someone to lean on as you transition out of it.
*DO NOT CHOOSE A MUTUAL FRIEND- TRY AND CONFIDE IN SOMEONE YOU KNOW WELL, BUT WHO DOESN’T HAVE ANY PARTICULAR OBLIGATION TO YOUR ABUSER.*
· Avoid the pit of despair
· Seek Professional Help- If the situation has escalated to the point that you cannot address it by yourself, contact a licensed mental health professional. If money is a concern, look up state-administered mental health service available in your county.
· Break the cycle- As you move forward; avoid repeating the behaviors that were so prevalent in the emotionally abusive relationship.
*If you feel like you’re in a dangerous situation, leave the abuser’s environment immediately. Stay with a friend or family member, contact a local shelter*
For the Future:
If you find yourself falling into the same victim-like patterns, STOP IMMEDIATELY!!!
Emotional Abuse- Using words to verbally harm/hurt an individual, this can include humiliating jokes to degrading comments.
Here at L.O.V.E. INC. we believe that having limits when it comes to relationships will prevent violent situations from happening, by putting a stop to it before it starts. So, here are some ways to recognize emotional abuse.
Notice common forms of emotional abuse:
· Humiliation- feeling like you are constantly being put down, judged or told you are being too sensitive
· Neglect- You get the “silent treatment” and denied affection or attention as a punishment
· Domination- You find yourself asking “permission” to engage in regular activities
· Denial/Unreasonable Demands- The other person cannot accept blame or apologize, and he/she consistently denies or embellishes facts.
· Co-dependence- Your personal boundaries are consistently violated and the other person relies on you as their sole emotional support.
Be Aware of Gas lighting
Gas Lighting- The slow process of being led question your own sanity or reality. It’s particularly subtle form of emotional abuse, but it can have extremely damaging consequences.
Signs of Gas lighting:
· You constantly second guess yourself
· You’re always apologizing, even for your insignificant or non-existent errors
· You know something is terribly wrong, but cannot put your finger on it
· You struggle making simple choices
· You find yourself wondering if you’re too sensitive
L.O.V.E. INC. wants to promote healthy relationships, we understand that it can be difficult to recognize abuse, especially if you have no idea what a positive relationship look like. So, if you feel as though you are missing out on majority of these things, though, you might consider the possibility that you’re being emotional abused.
· Good will and emotional support
· The right to your own feelings and opinions, even if they differ from the other person’s
· Encouragement of your interests and accomplishments
· A lack of physical or emotional threats, including angry outburst
· Respectful language that steers clear of name –calling or put downs.
Addressing Emotional Abuse:
1) Bring up the problem in a calm environment- Throwing down an accusation of emotional abuse in the midst of a heated argument, consider these less confrontational alternatives.
2) Ask the other person if you can have a calm discussion- Instead of bringing up the term “emotional abuse” , say that you think there are things that both of you can work on to make your relationship better. Use plenty of “I” language such as “I feel…” instead of “you”.
3) Write a letter- If you feel like a reasonable, relaxed talk is out of the question, put your concerns to paper. Write out a few drafts, and try to avoid directly accusatory statements that will ignite the other person’s anger. ie: instead of saying, “You make fun of me and I hate it,” try “I feel like I’m being mocked and humiliated.”
Ask for support- Having a trusted friend or family member weigh in on the situation can help you feel like you’re evaluating it objectively, as well as validating your feelings. If the emotionally abusive relationship breaks down completely, it’ll be nice to have someone to lean on as you transition out of it.
*DO NOT CHOOSE A MUTUAL FRIEND- TRY AND CONFIDE IN SOMEONE YOU KNOW WELL, BUT WHO DOESN’T HAVE ANY PARTICULAR OBLIGATION TO YOUR ABUSER.*
· Avoid the pit of despair
· Seek Professional Help- If the situation has escalated to the point that you cannot address it by yourself, contact a licensed mental health professional. If money is a concern, look up state-administered mental health service available in your county.
· Break the cycle- As you move forward; avoid repeating the behaviors that were so prevalent in the emotionally abusive relationship.
*If you feel like you’re in a dangerous situation, leave the abuser’s environment immediately. Stay with a friend or family member, contact a local shelter*
For the Future:
If you find yourself falling into the same victim-like patterns, STOP IMMEDIATELY!!!